


Oh, shit.

by casecous



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Established Relationship, Falling In Love, M/M, Peace Walker, metal gear solid - Freeform, mgs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-24
Updated: 2015-09-24
Packaged: 2018-04-23 04:54:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4863905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casecous/pseuds/casecous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The moment Kaz realizes.<br/><br/><i>"He feels like a home I've never been to, but have known my whole life. He is comfort, he is falling asleep with a smile. He makes me feel safe, and I think I've fallen in love with him." </i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh, shit.

**Author's Note:**

> Set during PW sometime after Big Boss and Kaz became more than friends and started fooling around.
> 
> Not a song fic, but inspired by lyrics from Lana Del Rey's Salvatore:  
>  _Like a boss he sang, jazz and blues_
> 
> And Big Boss singing Showa Blues on the PW drama cd.
> 
> The summary quote: [[x]](http://www.motherbaes.tumblr.com/post/129299288818/he-feels-like-a-home-ive-never-been-to-but-have)  
> 

The whiskey in his glass sloshes over the sides and onto his fingers as Barracuda knocks into his shoulder amidst the chaos of the party.

”Sorry, Miller!”

“It’s fine!” Kaz smiles, raising his glass to him as he throws a lazy goodbye salute in return before disappearing into the crowd.

Music blasts through the speakers some engineers from the R&D team wired and set up overnight, loud and beautiful underneath the laughter and chatter of the soldiers and the clinking of glasses. He looks up at the stars, visible despite the twinkling of lights strung all over the place, and feels warm all over, but he only just started drinking the whiskey, so _all-in-all_ , he decides, _it’s a good night. And this is home_. He sips his drink, nonchalantly scanning the crowd for faces of people he knows more intimately ( _low-key looking for Snake_ ). He tries not to look disappointed at the thought of just having to get to know some of the new recruits better instead.

“Hey, Boss was looking for you!” someone shouts at him as he toasts someone else.

“Where?” he yells back, but the soldier just shrugs his shoulders as he pops open a can of lime soda and someone whisks him away.

Kaz attempts to maneuver through the crowds of people searching for signs of Snake, but the trail is cold. There has to be over 300 people here and it seems impossible to find just one man. This night was supposed to be relaxing and fun, a well-deserved respite from the daily grind and larger problems looming over them all, and he would be lying if he said he hadn’t imagined most of it spent with Snake. He had spent an extra thirty minutes on his hair and another thirty deciding whether or not to roll his sleeves up or down. His hair looks _great,_ his sleeves are _up_ (to show off his forearms, of course), the knot on his scarf is _perfect_ , and he is not letting his prep be all in vain _._ It’s not like he’s _pining_ or anything, he’ll probably see him afterward, he just wants to see him before the party is over, is all. He’s good company and his favorite person on motherbase. And he’ll probably be out on more missions soon. Really. _Not pining._

He’s about to give up the search, when he spots a green tented enclosure with a little plastic window where he can see a large group of people gathered around cheering. He walks through the tent flap and the group begins to cheer louder at his arrival and pretty soon he is enveloped in a mass of people helping to push him toward the front of the room. Someone gives him a couple pats on the cheek before putting their arm around his shoulder while another places an arm around his waist, and he finds himself tugged back and forth in sloppy movements coordinated with their laughter.

“Cheers!” Bear yells at him and Kaz raises his glass to clink it with his in response. They both drink and when he lowers his glass back down Orca pours more into it, despite it being nowhere near empty. The music from outside sounds muffled compared to before and another speaker inside the tent becomes clearer as his brain catches up to the surprise ambush. He searches for the source of the familiar voice singing a Japanese blues song and his eyes land on Snake. Handsome as always and complete in a black formal tux with the tie hanging untied around his neck and the top two buttons popped, a cigar in one hand and a microphone held to his mouth in the other. The lights twinkle overhead and dance in sun-lightened parts of his pulled back hair.

As if Snake can feel him watching, his eye drifts to Kaz’s and he smiles, soft and slight, without dropping the tune; a private moment and personal serenade if it weren’t for all the other people in the room. The corners of Kaz’s mouth lift upward in response without him being able to help it. Snake’s Japanese is…..not _horrible._

His voice drifts smoothly over the chatter of the crowd and the bass from the speaker causes a little vibration in Kaz's skin. Something in his stomach grows warmer and his heart feels like it might break out of his chest. _God, he’s so stupid, I love him._

Kaz’s eyes widen fractionally, the grin drops from his face, and his heart falls 1000 feet per second into his stomach at the realization. His mind flashes with specific memories between them over the past months, specific feelings he had when he and Snake fooled around, or spent any time together for that matter. _A sturdy hand on his lower back, safe and comforting; a scratchy kiss on the scar on his chest that tickles and causes butterflies; watching in more than admiration as Snake teaches CQC to the new volunteers. A late dinner brought to him when he had skipped it to finish up some reports; later, his worry that Kaz wasn't getting enough sleep ever; a strong arm around his waist at night when they share a bed, calloused fingertips on his face the morning after and sunlight streaming in through the window; letting him lift his eyepatch to press his lips to the scar there; trusting him enough to tell him about the Boss._ Feelings he didn't have a name for before. _Oh, shit._ He must have been blind to not realize this sooner and he wishes he could go back to that, because he doesn't know what to do with this and it changes everything. Snake is still watching him and singing, so it’s safe to say he noticed, but Kaz tries to play it off and return the grin to his face, while attempting to ignore whatever is thumping around like a dying fish inside his stomach. _Dying fish, what the hell?_ _Butterflies, not dying fish?_ He suddenly doesn’t know what to do with his free hand as the song is ending. It feels limp and heavy next to his body and he must look like a goddamn idiot. He’s nauseous and his mouth is full of sand. This is how it ends. _Ohh shit._

The song ends while he’s still distracted in his own thoughts and he jumps a little when Snake suddenly appears in front of him. He's so close that Kaz can see the little beads of sweat spotted on his forehead and each individual dark eyelash framing his eye. _He’s literally glowing,_ smelling sweet and earthy, of tobacco and musk. Kaz closes his mouth and swallows thickly. The bodies belonging to the arms around him praise Snake for the entertainment before pulling away to give them a moment alone. _Traitors._

“So, what did you think?”

He tries clearing his throat. It helps, but not much. “You were uh-, uhm great. You. Were great.” He lifts his drink to his mouth for some extra liquid courage and swallows it down like a shot. It burns a little and he holds back a cough. “I’m sorry I missed the whole thing.” He can’t actually imagine having been here longer, he probably would have run out and away from his feelings. _Not a bad idea, now?_ His eyes flicker to the exit.

Snake raises an eyebrow and leans in a little closer to place a cool hand on his forehead. Kaz's skin feels like it's on fire and the world vibrates around him. “Are you okay, Kaz? You look a little pasty. On edge.”

He wraps his fingers around Snake's wrist to pull it away from his face and towards the ground. He doesn't let go, just taps little beats against it with his fingertips as he tries to continue. “Yeah! I’m great. You’re great." He swears under his breath. _This must be so obvious. Just please let me crawl out of this tent in one piece._ "I mean…you clean up nice.” He lets go of Snake's wrist, because it truly wasn't helping his mental state to actually be touching him, and runs a shaky hand through his hair, mussing it up in the process. Snake watches his erratic movements with concern. _Shit._

Snake examines himself before looking back at Kaz. “Yeah? You think so?”

“Like I always told you, you would,” Kaz throws him a goofy grin.

“I’d say you look good too, but you already know that and I don’t want to boost your ego more.”

Kaz’s stomach flips. _Jesus Christ._ “I think I need more to drink.” Their lips are so close and he’s struggling to stay calm. His eyes flicker down to Snake’s lips and back up. He swallows before leaning in closer toward Snake’s ear, his breath ghosting against his cheek in the process, and lowers his voice. “Can we get outta here? I need you to kiss me.”

Snake laughs, but obliges. In one swift motion, he grabs Kaz’s arm and pulls him out of the tent into the summer night, away from the crowds where Kaz can possibly breathe easier. Snake manhandles him against a wall, placing one hand on his hips and the other in the blonde’s hair to guide his head down and close the distance between them. Kaz’s eyes flutter closed and he makes a strangled noise against Snake’s lips before placing his free hand in Snake’s hair and _grabbing_. Snake groans into his mouth at the contact and Kaz parts his lips to deepen the kiss, their tongues intertwining in slow motion, thick and heady. Snake’s beard scratches lightly against his jaw and he tastes so good, _always._ The motions are generally the same, lips on lips with varying hand placements, but it _feels_ different with him every time. Especially this time. His skin tingles and every nerve in his body hums in harmony with Snake’s as it ripples down to his groin. It would be unbearable if it didn’t feel so incredible. Like kissing him for the first time again. _I love you I love you I fucking love you._

When they pull apart, they’re both out of breath, forehead to forehead, and Kaz keeps his eyes closed for a moment while Snake’s fingers twirl his hair absentmindedly. He is so fucked.

He opens his eyes hesitantly and Snake smiles. “Better?”

Kaz breathes out, responding with a noncommittal “Mm,” because he’s not sure of the answer. Maybe he can flirt his way out of forgetting any change that may have just happened. “Hey, what are you doing after this? I need to get you out of that tux.”

“What, don’t you like it?” Snake frowns. “I thought –”

Kaz groans. “God, shut up,” he manages before pulling him forward by the lapels of his jacket and kissing him again.


End file.
